Distorted Cerebration

I am very, very disappointed.  I finally grew a set. After all these years finally grew a set and asked a woman out.  Out to lunch. Had a time and date set and everything. And what happens?  Snow.  Not just “Oh it’s snowing”. No I mean “And the skies opened up and there was a great flurry. The earth trembled under the weight of the heavens as it let loose it’s frozen wrath” snow.

So lunch was cancelled.

And with that everything disappeared.  Oh I asked her for a rain check “maybe dinner instead” (in email as that was the only real available correspondence medium at the time).  Ninja Vanish.

I say to you “WTF?!”

Why is it that having a friendly conversation is no big deal, but me showing any kind of interest beyond ‘hey you’re someone to talk to at this moment” warrants ninjutsu style disappearing acts.

If I got a Will Smith style “aw, hell no” type response I could deal with that better than “*poof*”.

Granted, it’s quite possible that she didn’t see the email.  It’s quite possible that she hasn’t gotten around to responding yet.  But considering this is the N’th time something like this has happened to me I’m betting on the ninjutsu.

Maybe, somehow, someway she didn’t realize my “intentions” about lunch until she saw the dinner invitation.  I’ve seen it happen before. To me no less.  But how can that be possible?  Someone you barely see, although you work at the same place ask you out to lunch.  Odds are that they are interested in seeing you outside of work.

I am Jack’s rotting soul.

I’m at a complete and utter fucking loss here.  There has to be something wrong with me, but I just don’t know what it is.  It’s not like I can go back and ask the ninja to tell me why they took to shadows. (Well cause I can’t find them ).

And some of you, may say that posts like these are a reason why….. maybe.  But not posting, not thinking like this doesn’t get me closer to changing for the better now does it?

fucking sigh.