is in the rain
So I’ve not been right for awhile, moreso in the past week. (Mentally it’s been forever, I’m talking physically). So much so that I’ve been contemplating if these are my last days. If the body was gonna give before I thought I was ready.
And I realized that when thinking of the choice, letting the end of all things of my world, end, or fighting tooth and nail… I was torn. Continuing on like I am doesn’t seem that powerful of a thing to fight for. Nothing jumped out at me other than the general fear of death itself.
Have I ever been happy? Dunno. I recall my mother stating how happy I was once. Once. That’s when I was dating the last chick, the one with more drama than any man should have to be a part of, and was still oblivious to the level of drama this chick generated.
Only time I seemed to of exuded happiness. So other than drama filled curly haired (damn beautiful) women, what else is there to fight for?
I still don’t have an answer for that.
But then something happened today which makes me lean more to the fighting side. Something so benign but yet so powerful it made me smile.
It rained.
Not just rain, it poured.
That sound is just so fantastic. I dunno what it is that is so uplifting about the sound of rain.
I only can think of one movie quote to explain it. May not match up 100% with where I am right now but it still kinda fits.
“God is in the rain”