Distorted Cerebration

This is something I wanted to get off my chest, not something I want anyone that isn’t the person I talk about to do something with. If you do, do something and are not that person I may have to hurt you, just cause.

So following that whole F for Failure theme:

There’s this beautiful woman that alights my [ space not to be named ] from time to time. Any man would be crazy not to try and start a relationship with her. Accordingly I am slightly crazy. I definitly would like to hang out with her at least once, but I for some dumb reason I kept coming up with reasons not to do it.

• She’s too beautiful not to have someone already, so why bother?
• I don’t want others, that are unavoidable because of who she is, to be in my business. Not that she would go telling everyone, everything but there’s a possibility that things wouldn’t be underwraps so to speak
• I don’t want to fail
• I don’t want to fail and have things uneasy for time to come because of who she is. (yes that’s two different entries).
• I have a small anxiety about a certain policy that exists at [space not to be named].

Now I have spoken to her, she does know I exist. Hell she saw me around before I saw her. We were at Marist at the same time. But with my panic about the Sexual Harrasment policy I tried not to pay attention to the female students. It helps keep your job to do something like that, but has you dying a little bit inside each time when you fail to not notice.

So we spoke once. “Once!” (movie quote). But I didn’t persue right then and there. Why? Apart from the reasons above, I was in a bit of shock. As aware as I usally am about my surroundings, to not commit this woman to memory is just a travesty to being a man. Yeah I was trying not to notice, but still it’s the principalities smokey.

I am not obsessed with this woman. Obsessed is knowing what car she drives, the license plate and her arrival and departure times. I don’t know any of that and I don’t seek it out. Hell I don’t sit all day contemplating what she is doing. But I really would like to know her.

Chalk up another lost cause. Things might be different than what I perceive themt to be. It would be wonderful if things are different than what I perceive them to be.

But for now I just have to realize that I got another F.