F for Failure
Everyone has their sore point. Mine seems to be Failure. Kinda common one that is, but yeah it bothers me.
I would rather not do something than fail at it. Doing it right, succeeding , winning all seem like very temporay things when compared to when I fail. Failure seems to last for a lifetime. I can almost remember all the times I failed. Can’t remember all the times I succeeded though.
In some instances this has helped me. Learning from one’s mistakes and all. But in recent years it’s almost become debilitating, keeping me stuck in neutral.
Yeah I know all the pretty flowery sayings about try and try again and the like. But when something like failure sticks in your mind and stays there, it’s hard to “just keep at it till you succeed”. To keep picking up stones and carrying them until you finally find a diamond is gonna get you hurt pretty bad. And recovering from that is a long process.
I’ve lucked out a lot, definitly. Almost comparable to a golden child in some instances. But that buff has seem to of worn off, and I can’t find the person to give it back. I wish they would hurry up and give it back though. These constant F’s have gotten to me. Beyond what they should of.